Good bye nursyahirah

Yang senyum lebar tu, nursyahirah dan yang looks quiet tu nurshahidah. they are identical twins, anak ke tiga my cousin brother. after 8 years menunggu, akhirnya lahirlah kembar yang sangat comeiii! both of them sebaya dengan my little zahra.

seminggu hari raya hari tu, syahira tiba-tiba jatuh and tak sedar, admitted to ICU, dr found out she had brain tumor. Ya Allah, my first question was, syahirah yang mana satu ya? yang sangat ceria or yang pendiam? she's the ceria one. her right side became weak and her left eye jadi tak terang. syahirah tiba-tiba jadi pendiam, but she did not cry. we knew she's in pain, sakit kepala, but she never cry.

syahirah terpaksa dibedah, Alhamdulillah pakar otak di UH agreed to take her case and her surgery was scheduled on the 23rd Nov. however on the 10th, syahirah muntah-muntah without reasons, after minum susu or makan mesti muntah and mukanya seperti menahan sakit, but she did not cry, begitu sabar anak itu.

admitted to UH, aliran air di otak telah dihalang oleh tumor and pressured the brain, they had to tebuk to release the water, the surgery had to be done ASAP. on the 16th, pembedahan selamat dijalankan, the tumor berjaya dikeluarkan. however selepas pembedahan, they found out that the tumor tumbuh dari saraf mata and that's why her left eye effected and would be permanently damaged. further they found out that the tumor was very aggresive and akan tumbuh semula.

i was there after the sugery, bahagia coz the surgery berjaya, but risau apakah hasil the surgery. machines kiri kanan, tubes everywhere, but she looked so tenang and macam sedang tidur nyenyak. dia ditidurkan selama 2 hari for recovery.

on 18th morning, received sms from my other cousin, `syahirah tak berapa stabil'. kami terus ke hospital. both parents tak bercerita until i tanya the mother, `macamana syahirah?' barulah dia berkata-kata` oja, harapan syahirah sangat tipis' . ubat telah dihentikan, but syahirah masih tidak sedar, dan she did not response at all.

My cousin is a specialist Dr and his wife is a certified nurse, both of them faham all the medical terms related to syahirah's condition, they explained to me in lamen, harapan syahirah sangat tipis. the mother dah terima kenyataan yang syahirah akan pergi berdasarkan all the machine readings and her condition. both of them dah menyaksikan pelbagai jenis kesakitan orang lain, but this time they had to watch their own child's. sekuat mana hati pun akan luluh bila melihat anak yang manja dan ceria terbaring.

tepat jan 8.29 malam, 20 November 2007, Nursyahirah kembali ke Rahmatullah meninggalkan Ummi, Ayah, Along, Angah dan kakak kembarnya dan selamat dikebumikan pada 21 November 2007.

Allah itu maha berkuasa, semenjak Syahira tidak sihat, sifat cerianya telah berpindah kepada saudara kembarnya yang dahulunya pendiam. menurut the mother seolah-olah semua sifat arwah pergi ke kakak kembarnya and now like she's like having both of them in one child, Subhanallah.

Tak terbayang bagaimana perasaanku sekiranya berlaku kepada diri ini.

selamat tinggal sayang syahirah, you've bring so much joy walau pun seketika. Allah lebih menyayangi mu.

my little zahra

zahra just got her words recently and surprisingly she could arrange her sentences very well.

` bu, baju rara tik tak?' (ibu, baju zahra cantik tak?)

`bu, andikan rara kan, kan, kan' (ibu mandikan zahra kan, kan, kan)

`bu ca tuk rara k' (ibu bacakan untuk zahra ok)

`bu, duduk, rara nak nenen' (ibu duduk, zahra nak nenen)

ayat-ayat yang paling seronok didengar:

`bu, chuchu bu dap' (ibu, susu ibu sedap)

`bu, nenen bu rara nya, ( my bosoms are hers!)

`bu, rara nak nen lu, bibik acak, bu duduk' ( ni ayat bila kita kata nak masak

`kakak, jom yang' (jom sembahyang)

Zahra will be two years old this coming thursday, here is our special conversation about `nenen':


ibu: zahra, minggu depan zahra minum botol ya

zahra: nanak bu, nak nenen je

ibu: ala, nanti daddy beli botol cantik dan susu sedap okay, ada coklat, strawberry, hmmm
sedapnya

zahra: nanak, nak nen je, chucu bu dap. tol nanak, wan je (cawan je). rara num wan je. (sambil
merengek)

ibu: ok lah, so zahra minum susu dalam caman ya

zahra: no no no bu, nak nenen je, hu hu hu (nangis already) nak nen je, bu da nenen (ibu ada
nenen).


well, i guess my little zahra has made her first best decision in her life. she wants the best and alhamdulillah i gave her the best. HIDUP SUSU IBU.

Weekend

Salam,

Hari Sabtu lepas hantar F dan Y ke sekolah agama mereka untuk menghadiri kem ibadah. tidur di sekolah agama, ceramah, aktiviti lasak di bukit cerakah dan ada treasure hunt. they are so excited, this is the first time i allowed them to attend such activities, maklumlah i ni suka sangat nak risau-risau.., so this year rasanya both of them dah besar sikit and boleh jaga diri, okaylah ibu let go. sepanjang hari tunggu juga they call, but takdepun, guess they were enjoying themselves and tired after the aktiviti lasak. rindu pulak kat both of them, alahai baru sehari, kalau dah kahwin nanti macamanalah agaknya. So Z has me for herself, demanding habis, breastfeed tak henti-henti, ajak tengok buku, sepah and kemas her blocks. kadang-kadang tengah nyusu tu dia berhenti kejap and looked at me and sebut `bu, kakak' guess she misses he kakaks too.

mama called ajak pergi sungai buluh tengok pokok bunga, kebetulan tante pun ada kat rumah mama. alahai, cuaca panasnya malas betul nak keluar. since i pun dah kehabisan black soil , so i pun kata ok. niatnya nak tanam sayur bende and kacang panjang sebelum puasa tapi tanah dah habis. so we went to sg buluh, as usual mama mesti beli macam-macam pasulah, tanahlah, pokoklah, bajalah so i end up spent RM 50 beli macam-macam gak, mana tahan tengok mama belanja macam tu! punyalah khusyuknya tengok pokok, sampai rumah almost 8 pm.

sampai rumah sayangku baru balik bawak motor baru~ vespa paggio second hand. tak larat nak bayar minyak kereta and tol katanya, so beli motor. alahai risaunya dia nak ke ofisnya yang jauh tu dengan motor, macam-macam dalam fikiran ni, well, i guess he's tyring to save up since i dah tak kerja ni, ok lah sayang, i akan sentiasa doakan u selamat pergi dan kembali, just ride carefully ok, i love you so much sebab tu i risau. tapi siapa yang nak bawak tiga kereta kat rumah ni, nampak gayanya i lah kena warm up the engines.

BUDGET 2008

Salam

Budget is here again, time passed by like the bullet train.

Interesting facts:

1~ finally our children can go to school for free

2~finally our children can get their text book for free ( but not the activity books)

3~corporate rate reduced again ( 27% to 26%), but what about individuals' rate?

4~second Account of the EPF can be withdrawn every year to pay monthly installment of
the housing loan ( however should learn more of the terms)

5~no stamp duty charged for properties transferred from husband to wife and vice
versa (so ladies, be nice to your hubbies and watch out if your husbands are treating you extra nice)

6~no changes to import duties for cigarettes (good news to ladies with smoking husbands,no
allowance cut, because if the price increased, they won't reduce their puffings but reduce
your allowance)

MERDEKA - PART ONE

Salam,

MERDEKA! MERDEKA!MERDEKA!, 31 Aug i pun merdeka juga. 30 Aug was my last day at work. after 12 years kerja bagai nak rak, akhirnya i buat satu keputusan yang sangat besar dalam hidup, i pray that i won't regret this decision. And i hope Sayangku, the girls hargai pengorbanan ini. pengorbanan ke ni? of course lah kan, sanggup tinggalkan $$(walau pun tak tinggi mana gajinye pun), lepas belajar tinggi2, berenti kerje pulak. well sayang-sayangku, i made this decision because of you guys, soooo sesiapa yang tak hargai, memang sedih.

Secara peribadinya, i tak anggap this decision is pengorbanan but this is something that i should do and happy to do walaupun commitment kat bank masih ada lagi, alahai, tu yang lemah sikit.

Buat masa ni memang seronok duduk kat rumah, here are the lists yang i akan miss (i guess) and i takkan miss bila dah jadi housewife ni.

things that i'll miss:

1. my work station
2. gaji every month
3. bonus
4. MILO supply every month
5. of course, my dearest friends
6. pam susu kat ofis

things that i won't miss at all:

1. pergi kerja
2. balik kerja
3. traffic jam
4. long queue at the toll plaza (walaupun guna smart tag)
5. kelam kabut siapkan breakfast, lunch and dinner
6. fikir nak pakai baju apa hari ni
7. malam ahad nak kena isi minyak
8. and the list goes on

things that i got to do now:

1. fully direct breastfeed my little girl
2. mula homeschool my little girl
3. morning walk at the lake
4. aerobic and tai chi (every morning)
5. pergi pasar bila2, tak perlu tunggu hujung minggu, so org tak ramai
6. tunggu anak balik sekolah sambil baca buku kat depan rumah
7. baca buku bila-bila i nak
8. belai my plants evey morning
9. call sayangku, tanya nak makan apa malam ni

things that i wish i could do in the near future:

1. belajar menjahit ( he he)
2. attend baking class
3. attend editorial class
4. my own playgroup
5. buat gathering ibu-ibu kat rumah dengar ceramah
6. survey sekolah agama untuk dua anak daraku
7. belajar tajwid
8. dan macam-macam lagi

Ramai yang berkata, `ala, i bet u boleh bertahan 3 bulan je kat rumah, then u'll be job hunting again'. i hope i could prove them wrong, because this what i want to do, and happy to do. InshaAllah. Amin

IbuAtHome

Ahaks, title pun IbuAtHome, tapi actually ibu ini belum 100% stay at home, insyaAllah in 1 and 1/2 months time, provided, no more extension of service needed ibu akan duduk rumah. I am suppose to be officially IbuAtHome in April lagi ( ambil VSS) but, they still need me, well bukannya sebab i ni pandai sangat, but they are in the midst of changing to a new system, soo they are kind of short of staff. Berat hati sebenarnya nak extent but sayang i kata, takpelah, just for 4 months, i dragged to that. malasnya nak gi kerja, traffic jam, everyday balik lambat, every Saturday pun nak gi kerja. Kalau bukan pasal kawan-kawan, malas nak sambung.





kalau nak ceriter pasal why nak jadi IbuAtHome memang panjang, nantilah cerita lain hari. Ini pun masih ada kat ofis, buat kerja, nak balik dah ni.

Hmmm...Where do i begin?

wow, my own blog! where do i begin?what shall i write about? my children?, my hubby?, my plants? oh, whatever. i'll write about anything i love, i hate, would like to do, would not like to do, anything at all.